Women crave it, Men not so much…

Thursday, August 29, 2013 Posted by

H O N E S T Y

Honesty from my man puts me at ease. Puts me at home in my naturalness. I am at home.
When my man is honest, my body is at ease, and my pussy is welcoming, warm and inviting. Yummy, like warm chocolate cookies from the oven.

When I do not have honesty. Meaning my man is not being honest.

Or I suspect there is a lack of honesty.

I will call my girlfriend to “chat.”

These “chats” usually go something like this:
Girlfriend “blah, blah, blah”
Me “Oh…I am alright.”
Girlfriend “blah, blah, blah”
Me “Yea, work is fine. Busy, busy as usual”
Girlfriend “blah, blah, blah”
Me “Oh really, that sounds fun”
Girlfriend “blah, blah, blah”
Me “Oh…he is fine. Yep. fine.”
Girlfriend “blah, blah, blah”

Me Long deep sigh……sigh…..sigh….. “He said/did/looked at me funny/laughed/did not do/……etc..Honesty What i perceive he said/did/looked at me funny/laughed/did not do

Then  my psychotic inner bitch rears her ugly messy, gnarly head and the dam bursts open a flood of murky,
swirling accusations and upset.

My faithful, trusty Girlfriend rises to my defense and support. She then will begin to point out every detailed problem, issue, upset, argument I have ever experienced in relationship to my man. Suspected, made up or other wise…

My Girlfriend, bless her heart, is my tally keeper. And I keep hers. It is our bond.

It gets crazy really quick. Dark and fearful crazy. I make snappy, rash judgements that are not nice or to your advantage.

My happy, warm inviting pussy, is now shut down, closed and not available to you.

The answer, men is to just be honest. I would rather you be honest with me, than to hide something. I will know. I am naturally an intuitive, feeling, creature. If I feel/hear/see/sense something is off in your communication. I will know, maybe not consciously, but it will come to light.

Men say “But I don’t want to hurt you.”  You are much better off just being straight, upfront and Honest, than to journey down the twisty dark spiral of my perceptions of my crazy mind.

You love warm chocolate cookies right from the oven don’t you?

Is your relationship pasts it’s expiration date?

Wednesday, May 8, 2013 Posted by

What if we went into a relationship with an end date? Would you fully commit to the relationship for the time you agreed to? Would you give it your all? What would you negotiate for? What agreements would you create?

The tough part is, most of us do not enter into a relationship negotiating agreements, upfront about expectations and how long we will stick it out. What if instead of until deaths do you part it was until June 25 2016?

I have a somewhat checked past with marriage and relationships. Thinking back to the beginning of those relationships, would it have been easier upfront to know when the end was coming? Know about all the expectations, upfront? Would the exit have been more graceful, less heartbreak, less dramatic? Would knowing there is an end date make a difference?  Would it make a difference for you?

I know there are people who make agreements to be married for specific gains. I am not talking about green cards and mail order brides. Although, it seems like there are more agreements made in an contractual arranged marriage then any of us think about in a romantic relationship. Basically the concept of marriage was created out of necessity to preserve bloodlines and property; a legal binding contract of mutual benefit to parties, families, tribes.

Marriage is a contract, most of us do not approach relationships as a set of agreements, spoken and unspoken. We plunge into relationships, marriages full steam ahead, death do us part.

Expired

Maybe I am a little cynical, jaded but in my relationship, I keep an agreements book. Any agreement we have every made is written down, signed and dated. I think what keeps a relationship or marriage from expiring is to keep the agreements current. Renegotiate those agreements. What is working and what is not working? What are you expectations? Are they realizable? Realistic? I know I am not the same woman as I was last year, let alone 4 or 5 years ago. He is not the same either. Our priorities have changed our maturity and what we both want has changed.

We have had to sit down with our marriage vows and a dictionary to get through some tough stuff, but with clarity come sobriety and the ability to make choices.

How are you extending your relationship shelf life? Is your relationship getting ready to spoil? Getting a little stale and moldy? I would love to hear some feedback about how you are negotiating. I am happy to share my thoughts and opinions, just comment below.

Shhh…hear that?

Thursday, March 28, 2013 Posted by

Shh…Do you hear that? Probably not, most people suck at listening.

I believe that listening is a secret of power.

Listening creates an opening for the other person to open up and speak from their heart.
A good listener is not only interested in what the other person is saying even if it the most uninteresting blah, blah blah to come out of someone’s mouth.
A good listener “listens for the gold”, meaning they can find something interesting, something shiny and new to gain from the conversation.
A good listener is not a parrot. They do not repeat every word, or syllable back to the speaker to prove they are “paying attention.” Really they are just trying to memorize the words to spit them back at you.
A good listener is present. They can focus on the other person, not themselves or what maybe happening in the environment around them.
listeningA good listener does not dominate the conversation. Yucky, conversations, ebb and flow they are not damned up or dominated by another.

A good listener knows when to speak, to add or contribute to the conversation. They may, ask direct questions that opens up the dialogue or opens up the unsaid or unspoken emotions of experiences of the conversation.

A good listener does not interrupt a conversation, just to hear their voice.
A good listener knows when to end a conversation gracefully. This is a pet peeve- they don’t just walk away in the middle of someone speaking. A good listener does not offer unsolicited advice. Sorry, I made that mistake a few days ago. I have not heard from my friend since.
A good listener is not judgmental, about anything said or unsaid. Judge people and they leave.

You may have to practice being a good listener. Here are some ways to practice.
1. Ask a question and wait for a response. No matter how long it takes.
2. Listen for the gold even when your man, starts telling a story that you have heard, 25 times already. The gold might just be that it makes him smile telling it.
3. Practice being present. Don’t wonder off and think about the “shopping list.”
4. Practice being generous, with others.
5. Most of all practice smiling.

The words every man CRAVES to hear

Wednesday, March 13, 2013 Posted by

Men crave to hear these words. They would leap tall buildings, stop a speeding train and even stop his world for you.

I am sure you appreciate him, but do you tell him? Your man, your dad, you son, friends, co-workers?

Most men have no clue how much we appreciate them. Appreciation does not work like the “oral sex theory” I give I get.

Women require some appreciation but, that is not what makes our hearts sing, like a man who is getting it (appreciation) regularly. Men require appreciation, dignity, integrity and respect.

I must admit I had to looks a few of these words up in the dictionary. I am glad I did. I learned allot and it all makes sense.

These are the ones that hit the mark, from Dictionary.com

appreciation

Appreciation is gratitude; thankful recognition

Respect is proper acceptance or courtesy; acceptance

Dignity is a sign or token of respect

Integrity is the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished

Here are some tips on how to express each aspect:

Appreciation is to; Say “Thank You” often and mean it and look him in the eyes when you say it.

Respect is to; Make him look good especially in front of his friends.

Dignity is to; Take pride in yourself and show him you are happy. And also to;  Show regard and consideration for his thoughts, feelings and opinions

Integrity is to; Do what you say you are going to do, when you say you are going to do it.

It will take some practice but, you will be greatly rewarded, adored loved and honored for taking a few extra seconds each day to show the men in your world that you appreciate them.

Dr. Feel Good

Tuesday, March 5, 2013 Posted by

Let’s face it ladies our lovers come pre-trained. They have been trained by other women, previous lovers.

Dr. Love

Hopefully you are lucky and he was taught well, but if not he may need to be rehabilitated.

For rehabilitation, I recommend playing doctor. Teach him your body. Not all women are the same. We all have very different tastes, moods and bodies; we respond differently to different touches and have different histories. Some of us are quick and easy to please, and others are not.A guy told me once, that he was trained on a Ford and now he is driving a Toyota.

What does your man need to know about your body? What do you need to discover about your body? Take schedule a few hours in his calender and pick you a toy doctors kit and play! Don’t for get to schedule your regular check ups!